Once your child starts talking…it seems they never stop. This is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because most of the things they say are hilarious- on our trip to the beach Charlotte called the ocean "too big bath" and seagulls "baby chickens". A curse because there will be many instances of public embarrassment- Charlotte’s favorite expression, “Mommy’s all done pumping” (referring to when I pump milk for Madeleine) sounds like, “Mommy’s all done pooping”. Fear not, just when you are tempted to invest in a sound proof room, here is a list of communication benefits your family can enjoy from having a talking toddler.
1). Everything from bedtime to bath time can and will be negotiated. 5 more minutes. Not right now. Just think of how helpful this will be once they pass the Bar Exam.
2). What did you do before you had your own personal narrator?
Mommy taking shower now.
Mommy all done hair drying.
Mommy putting pants on.
Maybe one day you can aspire to have your own theme music.
3). You are pretty sure that if someone even mentions the name “Donald Trump” one more time you might be forced to relocate your family to Canada. Luckily your toddler can only ever talk about themselves, much like "The Donald", and they care as much about this election as they do about what's waiting for you in their diaper.
4). Miley Cyrus’ music video for “Wrecking Ball” was on MTV yesterday and it was the first time I had seen it (I know I’m late to this party). I have no idea why she needs to be naked and molesting demolition equipment, but it sure did make me grateful for the wholesome family music that my daughter sings over and over.
5). Maybe you didn't hear me the first time? Your toddler will make sure to repeat and rephrase. Perhaps a career in politics will be in their future supporting the issues that really matter.
Please Mommy, popsicle.
6). In case you are becoming too confident in your parenting abilities your toddler will make sure to point out exactly what needs to be done so you stay humble.
Baby is crying.
Baby take a nap.
Mommy, cup is empty.
Sometimes we do miss the silence but mostly we hang on every word and if you missed it the first time, don't worry, they will make sure to tell you again.