Let's be honest, 2016 was rough. We could all use a few more LOL moments to carry us into next year. Here are 17:
1). When your child turns to you and finally asks about the fish that have been dead for 6 months.
2). When you spend date night discussing at what age our kids will be able to fully digest raisins.
3). My two year old hanging off the roof of her car yelling, "Safety first".
4). When people text me at 8am and ask if they woke me up.
5). The checker at the grocery store asking me with a straight face as my oldest dumps out the entire contents of a box of cereal, while my youngest is repeating, “Mommy, Mom, Mom, Mommy, Mom” if I had a relaxing holiday.
6). Parenting is like 90% worrying that your kid is choking while the other 10 is spent with your fingers in their mouth checking.
7). “Go away, Mom. We are being safe.”
8). When the doctor hands you your second child and tells you that it is important for you to get lots of rest.
9). My favorite child will be whichever one learns how to locate and put on her shoes first.
10). Charlotte finding me in the bathroom to tell me, “I put the lotion in the basket.”
11). What is it like living in a house with three girl humans and two girl dogs? Hairy. It’s hairy.
12). In my 3 seconds of free time I have each day I think about all the money we could save on our next house if we just didn’t bother putting doors on all the bathrooms.
13). Friend: What do you do while Charlotte is at preschool?
Me: I usually spend the 45 minutes having a moral dilemma hovering over the trash deciding which glued macaroni “art projects” she made the day before in class are worth saving and which she won’t notice have gone missing.
14). When you find a typo in someone else's holiday card and you are filled with the same entitled smugness that your 2 year old has year-round.
15). Friend: What did you get your youngest for Christmas?
Me: Whichever toy my oldest throws on the ground first.
16). My most productive time of the day is when my kids wake up from nap and when I decide to get them from their rooms.
17). Charlotte: "Mom, I need help." (Takes my hand)
Me: "With what?"
Charlotte: "I have poop on my hands."
Parenthood is a veritable alphabet soup of hilarity. I can only imagine the bowl of fun we'll have in 2017.