Before I get started I want to go ahead and set the stage for the difference between the first and second born. When designing the nursery for my first we actually considered hiring an artist for her room mural. When asked what the theme was for my second daughter’s room my response was a tired, “Uh, baby?”

It is a known fact that the birth order makes a difference in their personalities and ultimately who they become as adults. But no pressure there, parents. I catered to my eldest’s every whimper and whine, leading me to believe that The Boy Who Cried Wolf was definitely the first born. My youngest child has been molded into a tolerant and independent little love who typically only cries for important reasons, while my oldest cries when we can’t get to a Band-Aid fast enough, I hand her the wrong Band-Aid, or heaven help us if we run out of Band-Aids.

Here are the very legitimate reasons my second child is crying:

1). Her hand is wrist deep in her sister’s mouth and I’d venture to guess that touching someone else’s uvula feels a little weird.

2). After the fourth popsicle swap with her sister, she didn’t appreciate ending up with the one that was dipped in the sandbox.

3). She is tired of being used as the Hokey Pokey puppet when it’s time to “shake it all about”.

4). My oldest has been feeding her baby doll her sister’s milk for the past 10 minutes, and she’s not allowed to drink it until the doll is finished.

5). Their shared bath time experience isn’t just rubber ducks and bubbles, she's often a participant in market research on tear-free shampoo and some light Chinese water torture.

If the second child is crying, you'd better bring two Band-Aids, one to entertain your first and one for the actual boo boo.