And just like that it’s 2018. The overall consensus was that 2017 was a real stink-fest—but if you are a parent that just cannot be true. Chances are your little darlings did something incredible last year whether it be: they came into the world, gained a sibling, or simply learned how to wipe their boogers on their own pants instead of yours.
We all know that in January people get serious about making positive life changes. In our house, we have come up with a sure-fire way to guarantee success by letting our kids determine their own New Year’s resolutions. As a way to continue to ace this whole parenting gig and hold my children accountable, I will share them with everyone:
My Kids' New Year’s Resolutions 2018:
1). Ensure that Mom and Dad never have an opportunity for alone time to make certain we will remain their only children. As a precautionary backup plan, tandem scream-crying whenever Mom holds anyone else's baby, will also do the trick.
2). Go on record stating that it would be rude to stop accepting a yearly supply of Honest Company diapers from Aunt Cara and Uncle Dennis if we became an undies-only household in 2018. So we will enthusiastically continue to use pull-ups daily, since you have always taught us the importance of gratitude.
3). Allow parents to host a Pacifier Farewell Party packed with balloons, professional fairies and the whole 9 yards with 0 intentions of ever giving up the magical sucking contraptions that will surely come with us to college (where we will be forced to attend a school that specializes in orthodontics).
4). Live by the motto, "Sleep is for suckers".
5). Never let our parents regret the decision to hire professional house cleaners by leaving no corner unlicked, no toilet paper roll unexplored.
6). Oscillate inexplicably from compassionate, conjoined best friends sharing everything from donuts to diseases into hair-pulling, shrieking ninjas that would rather bleed from the scalp than share that one specific orange marker.
7). Lastly and most importantly, continue to keep both Mom and Dad on their toes morning, noon, and night (working in shifts if we have to) always making them grateful they made the decision to become parents with a healthy splash of, “Oh Dear, what have we done?”
Happy New Year from our family to yours.
SLIDING INTO 2018 LIKE...