Every once in a while you have a situation where you just have to laugh and say to yourself: so this is motherhood.
Charlotte is going to a parent cooperative nursery school in the fall and when we went to check it out, she loved the bean table and stayed there for 20 minutes. Anything that maintains their interest for more than 4 minutes in Mommyland is considered a gift from the heavens, so I saved this activity for a slow day where we had exhausted all other entertainment options. I’m changing Madeleine’s poopy diaper on the chair in the playroom and Charlotte comes over to us and says, “I put in my nose.” Sure enough one nostril is bulging like an infected nose piercing. Charlotte is sniffling and starts to cry and I try and calm her down so she doesn’t suck it up farther into her nose, because at this moment I can’t remember if your nostrils lead to your throat or up to your brain. I’m almost positive it couldn’t lead to her brain since I don’t ever remember seeing that storyline on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. I run her upstairs to get the tweezers and completely forget that Madeleine is on the chair mid-diaper change. From the top of the stairs I see that she has rolled off the chair (uninjured) but poop is now everywhere.
I am dialing Kaiser’s advice line as I am attempting to pull out the bean with tweezers. But I’m just making it worse and her sniffles aren’t helping, so I try poking it from the outside, which also isn’t doing anything. All the while the poop situation in the playroom has been contained since Madeleine has now made her way over to the tile. It is also important to note that one of my earliest memories was me sticking a bead up my nose and going to the doctor to have him use tiny forceps to remove it, so I can’t be too mad when evidently this specific curiosity is genetic. Finally I grab a medicine dropper and maneuver it around the bean and finally it pops out. Since this was not my greatest parenting hour, I had every intention of keeping this story just between us. However Charlotte is of the age where there are no more secrets, so I decided to beat her to the punch since now she always finds a way to spill the beans.