1). You don’t put the toilet paper on the roll and it’s not out of laziness.
2). You have to eat dessert in your pantry because you don’t want to share.
3). You feel like Elmo’s voice was created as punishment for sins you must have committed in a past life.
4). Yes I would like some cheese with that whine.
5). At any adult function you find yourself humming the song from their favorite light up toy.
6). You’ve probably already used the phrase “let’s keep our pants on” at least twice today.
7). They can sense when bedtime is approaching and will instantly lay on the charm.
8). Their favorite food from yesterday is now grotesque and officially offensive.
9). Kisses are better than Band-Aids, but not better than stickers.
10). You did absolutely nothing to help the drought in California since bath time could last for hours or until the hot water ran out.
11). All small chairs shall be called “potties”.
12). Play dates are now a gamble ever since sharing was invented.
13). Everyday you play a game called “disguise the vegetables”.
14). Your days of using curse words are over, hello “shoot” and “darn”.
15). When other people use the expression “Terrible Twos” you kind of want to punch them a little bit.
16). You have to apologize to strangers who smile and say hi because all they get in return is the stink eye.
17). There are only one or two particular books on the agenda and the rest are simply unacceptable.
18). At any given moment a spontaneous dance party could breakout.
19). Quiet places are for screaming.
20). It is the worst day of their life because you gave them the red cup instead of the green one. Oh look, bubbles!
22). It’s their world and you are just lucky to be living in it.