Lessons Learned

Mommy school has been in session for over 11 months now and here's what I've learned so far...

1). My love has no limit but my patience does

Charlotte will shriek eight to ten times in a half hour period, at an octave that could shatter glass. It is not cute or fun, but she has one dimple and I love her.

2). Opinions are like poopers, everyone has one

Please tell me all about your secret recipe to increase my milk supply. It sounds delicious!

3). There is no such thing as the perfect anything

Mother, baby, 1st birthday party. Leave wiggle room for error and throw a dance party for the small victories.

4). I am madly in love with my family

I don’t believe in "better halves" or in couples becoming “complete” when they get married or have a family. These clichés should be left to bad country songs where they belong. I love that there is now a person in this world who is half me and half my husband and that's a fraction I am comfortable with. 

5). Children put everything in perspective

Whether it is a petty fight about the organization of the silverware drawer or thinking about losing my grandpa this year, when I blow on Charlotte’s tummy and she laughs, I know I’ve struck some sort of gold nirvana and I allow myself to just feel happy.

6). Pain is a relative term

I no longer believe in the concept of “I can’t”. Motherhood has made me feel superhuman and I am therefore limitless.

7). There shouldn’t be a timeline for happiness

This year I turned 30 and I have heard too many times, “…when the baby comes” "...by the time I’m.....” “...when I have my ducks in a row”. How about now?  Now, feels pretty damn good people.


When Charlotte makes this face she's about to put something inedible in her mouth (in this case a leaf).

When Charlotte makes this face she's about to put something inedible in her mouth (in this case a leaf).

8). I need to give myself a break

Today I yelled at my daughter for shrieking too much, which makes about as much sense as spanking a child for hitting. This of course made her cry and now I feel like what I just wiped off her bottom. Kindly refer to #3.

9). Sometimes life isn’t fair

 The fact that Parenthood is in its final season makes me cry like I’m watching an episode of Parenthood. There have been 28 seasons of The Bachelor, but Parenthood only gets 6?

10). If my daughter thinks I’m funny, that’s all I need

Yesterday my daughter poked me in the boob and giggled for a minute. I will always come in a close second to our dogs but I've made my peace with that.

11). Becoming a mother has changed me

I’ve found that even in the darkest crevasses of motherhood, I’ve learned something new about myself. I am less anxious but more scared; softer and yet stronger. I'm kinder because my sarcasm is now more passive than aggressive and (fingers crossed) more influential. 

I realize my mommy education has only just begun and whether it inspires me toward wit, wisdom or wretchedness, stay tuned for more milestones and meltdowns.

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