The Mom I Am

In the kitchen you will find us dancing, or stirring up muffins and trouble,

I have found that having two kids brings me all the same joy; my joy is now just double.

Life is one big juggling act with a toddler and a baby that’s now on all fours;

Trying to teach a big sister what it means to share; that what is “mine” is ours.

We practice silliness on rainy days and all other days in between,

I have learned it’s best to just give up, when I’ve lost my will to clean. 

I believe in kisses before bed, at hellos, goodbyes, or frankly just whenever,

We practice hugs and high fives every day, especially if they’ve learned something clever.

Good manners are a must; however spoiling is also encouraged,

Love is demonstrated through actions not words and put downs are always discouraged.

I make no apologies for lots of pink and for dressing my girls alike,

Not that my kids are girly girls they like dirt and sand and will one day ride a bike.

We practice discipline with consistency and try our best to follow through,

But we can eat some humble pie those times we’ve been wrong too.

I don’t believe in perfection as that pedestal is far too high,

I do believe in the lighthearted, so we laugh more than we cry.

I believe this job takes balance, so we do date night and parent as a joint venture,

I always surround myself with moms who also see motherhood as life’s best adventure.

Every day is something new; I never know what we can expect to see,

But most of all, I try to be the kind of woman I want my daughters to be.

Babyhood 2.0

There are things that I never knew to appreciate about a baby until I had a second one.  A lot of it has to do with understanding the differences between a baby and a toddler, and while I have less time to sit and bask in the glory of my tiniest human, I gratefully recognize what I missed in my new mom fog two years ago. 

1). I don’t have to work for a smile.

Most times I can just look at Madeleine and she smiles at me. One time I smiled at Charlotte and she simply shook her head and said, “No Mama.”

2). Babies can literally sleep anywhere through anything. 

Getting a toddler to sleep requires more steps than assembling Ikea furniture. 

3). Babies are a cheap date.

I simply pack up my boobs with me and go. Toddlers need snacks, a beverage, meals and more snacks. 

4). I can eat or drink anything without having to share.

I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight thanks to a lot of hard work with #Fit4Mom but also because I'm on a strict toddler implemented diet plan called half portions or "my cracker". 

5). Babies are low maintenance.

Joey describes an hilarious Elmo cup to Phoebe at baby Emma's first birthday party. Clip from season 10, episode 4, The One With The Cake.

Toddlers needs are incredibly random and yet very specific. For example I wanted Charlotte to wear a bow in her hair for gymnastics to keep her hair out of her eyes. It had to be the bow with the cupcakes on it that was downstairs, but first we had to cry about it, ruffle our freshly brushed hair, and then I had to come up with some sort of bribery exchange where she would wear it but only for an actual cupcake (for more examples see “Why is my Toddler Crying”). Little does Charlotte know that the “cupcakes” I make are actually muffins with vegetables in them. 

Now when I hold my baby, I know to appreciate her just as she is in that moment and I watch her for a few seconds longer in hopes that I can slow down the clock. I’ve learned that if I look up too fast, she’ll be a toddler. 

Parenting Problems

We don't mean to whine or complain, God knows we hear enough of that from our toddlers, but whether you have one child or ten: the struggle is real. 

Here is a list of very real problems for parents:

1). The steps involved in getting out of the house feel reminiscent to that of getting a man on the moon.  

2). You have arrived places with spit up on your clothes or in your hair and while non-parents looked at you with a face of utter repulsion you smiled and used your hand to “wipe it off”.

3). The bathroom is now a group activity: showers, baths, toilets, hand washing and when it does happen alone you feel like it was a misappropriation of your time.

4). Your house is coated in a thin layer of milk.

5). No matter how laid back you are as a parent, almost every outing feels like some sort of crisis hostage negotiation.

6). You are granted no off days which is twofold: you literally have no days off and you are not allowed to feel “off” either.

7). It can sound almost creepy the way you describe missing sleep to other people.

8). Good, bad, or ugly people find the need to comment on your “mom body”.

9). Everyone seems very concerned with how you are sleeping, but at 2 am they are nowhere to be found.

10). The idea of “sister wives” or compound living doesn’t actually sound all that crazy anymore because, frankly, you would love the extra help. 

11). Your toddler can sense when you are about to lose your mind and it's that moment they decide to flick their sibling's ear for the first time.

12). A game of peekaboo or snuggles can quickly turn into a very real thing called suffocating the baby. 

Everyday feels like a game run by tiny dictators, where you don't understand the rules and no one can explain them to you, but don't worry, they will all change again tomorrow anyways.