Parenting Problems

We don't mean to whine or complain, God knows we hear enough of that from our toddlers, but whether you have one child or ten: the struggle is real. 

Here is a list of very real problems for parents:

1). The steps involved in getting out of the house feel reminiscent to that of getting a man on the moon.  

2). You have arrived places with spit up on your clothes or in your hair and while non-parents looked at you with a face of utter repulsion you smiled and used your hand to “wipe it off”.

3). The bathroom is now a group activity: showers, baths, toilets, hand washing and when it does happen alone you feel like it was a misappropriation of your time.

4). Your house is coated in a thin layer of milk.

5). No matter how laid back you are as a parent, almost every outing feels like some sort of crisis hostage negotiation.

6). You are granted no off days which is twofold: you literally have no days off and you are not allowed to feel “off” either.

7). It can sound almost creepy the way you describe missing sleep to other people.

8). Good, bad, or ugly people find the need to comment on your “mom body”.

9). Everyone seems very concerned with how you are sleeping, but at 2 am they are nowhere to be found.

10). The idea of “sister wives” or compound living doesn’t actually sound all that crazy anymore because, frankly, you would love the extra help. 

11). Your toddler can sense when you are about to lose your mind and it's that moment they decide to flick their sibling's ear for the first time.

12). A game of peekaboo or snuggles can quickly turn into a very real thing called suffocating the baby. 

Everyday feels like a game run by tiny dictators, where you don't understand the rules and no one can explain them to you, but don't worry, they will all change again tomorrow anyways.