Why Life is Hard When You're Two

It’s a confusing world we live in, especially when you are two and Mommy says things like, “We cannot drink the hose water” and yet it tastes just like a yummy mixture of water and pennies (which I also cannot put in my mouth).

Everything is a no. No ice cream in the morning, no squeezing toothpaste directly into my mouth.

I only get to play all day every day which really gets in the way of me telling everyone exactly what they should be doing.

It is not considered helpful when I reorganize or unpack.

I have to wear clothes in public, including shoes which feel like tiny monsters trying to eat my toes.

Mommy hides tiny trees in my food and pretends like they are not there but I know they are. 

Things that were once okay like diapers and pacifiers are now for babies and not big girls.

I now know all the words, but no one else seems to.

I would say more, but Mommy says it’s nap time and I say it's party time. 

Why Being an Aunt Totally Rocks (Spoiler Alert it Involves Spoiling)

One of the reasons I feel totally complete with our family of four is because we are surrounded by all of their cousins. I grew up with cousins who were more like siblings and feel blessed that my kids will get to experiences the same joy. Being a mother is wonderful but can be hard, grueling and downright terrifying but being an aunt is all of the glory and none of the pain. 

Here are just some of the reasons why being an aunt is so totally awesome. 

1). You love them, indulge them, and then hand them back.

2). You will never need to make the tough decisions like whether to circumcise, or how many popsicles in one day is considered too many. 

3). Auntie discipline involves jelly beans and kisses.

4). Babysitting is temporary whereas parenting is forever.

5). Whenever there is a blowout of any kind it is not your job to handle it. 

6). You can buy the most obnoxious drum set, light up toy, or even a puppy all in the name of spoiling. 

7). Your nieces and nephews will have you on some sort of godlike pedestal because you are the bringer of love, presents, and gum!

8). The bigger the dork you are the cooler they think you are (this only works until they turn 13). 

9). When their parents have to play the bad cop, guess who always gets to play the good?

So when my kids are older and I inevitably find myself with baby fever, I will quickly drive over to see my favorite nieces and nephews, get in some snuggles and quality head smelling time, then go back home to peacefully sleep through the night. 

Reasons I’m Not Rushing Potty Training (And You Can’t Make Me)

Call it laziness, stubbornness or just plain fear, but I’m just not ready and you can’t make me. I have many valid reasons to delay potty training until the toilet paper parts and I see a clear cut sign that this hellish ordeal should begin.

1). We have carpet.

2). We are always on the go (no pun intended).

3). Not only are the diapers we use Honestly adorable, but they are also free (I have the best sister and brother in-law ever).

4). I’m not sure it is humanly possible for me to do more laundry than I do right now.

5). Like all women I hate the word “panties” and I am not yet mentally prepared to say it 11 times a day.

6). Every pair of little girl underwear (see above) has some sort of Disney Princess on it and as a feminist I think it’s important to take a stand.

7). I'm not sure I'm ready to live in a world where I could find poo in unexpected places. 

8). I have yet to decide if we are a “tinkles” and “poopy” household or just the standard “pee” and “poop”. 

9). This is my most damning evidence: every time I ask Charlotte if she wants to use the potty she politely says, “No thank you.”

So for now, we are going to put a lid on it.