Why Being an Aunt Totally Rocks (Spoiler Alert it Involves Spoiling)

One of the reasons I feel totally complete with our family of four is because we are surrounded by all of their cousins. I grew up with cousins who were more like siblings and feel blessed that my kids will get to experiences the same joy. Being a mother is wonderful but can be hard, grueling and downright terrifying but being an aunt is all of the glory and none of the pain. 

Here are just some of the reasons why being an aunt is so totally awesome. 

1). You love them, indulge them, and then hand them back.

2). You will never need to make the tough decisions like whether to circumcise, or how many popsicles in one day is considered too many. 

3). Auntie discipline involves jelly beans and kisses.

4). Babysitting is temporary whereas parenting is forever.

5). Whenever there is a blowout of any kind it is not your job to handle it. 

6). You can buy the most obnoxious drum set, light up toy, or even a puppy all in the name of spoiling. 

7). Your nieces and nephews will have you on some sort of godlike pedestal because you are the bringer of love, presents, and gum!

8). The bigger the dork you are the cooler they think you are (this only works until they turn 13). 

9). When their parents have to play the bad cop, guess who always gets to play the good?

So when my kids are older and I inevitably find myself with baby fever, I will quickly drive over to see my favorite nieces and nephews, get in some snuggles and quality head smelling time, then go back home to peacefully sleep through the night. 

Reasons I’m Not Rushing Potty Training (And You Can’t Make Me)

Call it laziness, stubbornness or just plain fear, but I’m just not ready and you can’t make me. I have many valid reasons to delay potty training until the toilet paper parts and I see a clear cut sign that this hellish ordeal should begin.

1). We have carpet.

2). We are always on the go (no pun intended).

3). Not only are the diapers we use Honestly adorable, but they are also free (I have the best sister and brother in-law ever).

4). I’m not sure it is humanly possible for me to do more laundry than I do right now.

5). Like all women I hate the word “panties” and I am not yet mentally prepared to say it 11 times a day.

6). Every pair of little girl underwear (see above) has some sort of Disney Princess on it and as a feminist I think it’s important to take a stand.

7). I'm not sure I'm ready to live in a world where I could find poo in unexpected places. 

8). I have yet to decide if we are a “tinkles” and “poopy” household or just the standard “pee” and “poop”. 

9). This is my most damning evidence: every time I ask Charlotte if she wants to use the potty she politely says, “No thank you.”

So for now, we are going to put a lid on it. 

Googled

Oh the things I’ve Googled as a mom. I often ponder to myself, what did moms do before the internet? Was there simply a line around the block at the doctor’s office? Are we better off now that we can Google questions like, “Can my child contract rabies from sharing an acorn with a squirrel?”

While I was pregnant, I put myself on a Google diet of only one search per week and would only type in things that I worried would make my OBGYN mentally roll her eyes and question her decision to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on her Med School education. Important questions such as, “When will my belly button go back in?” or "Has anyone ever died from a painful contraction?" 

Google can actually be a useful tool, but that doesn’t mean my searches aren’t anything short of hilarious. Here are some gems that can be found in this mom's browser history:

1). Basically anything that starts with “is it normal for my baby/toddler to…” insert anything here.

                a. Cry for two hours straight.

                b. Only drink milk while lying horizontal.

                c. Poop every 30 minutes.

                d. Feel like I love my child too much.

Definitely love this girl too much!

2). A baby poop chart with colors and textures.

3). A rash chart with colors and textures.

4). How to get my baby/toddler to stop screaming?

5). How to get my toddler to stop drinking the bath water?

6). Tricks for making sure my newborn is still breathing at night.

7). How can I restore my boobs to their former glory after nursing?

8). How can I get my child to sleep through the night without reading any parenting books?

9). What are the symptoms of ___________ in a toddler/baby? (Insert any scary disease here: Ebola, West Nile, Zika)

10). Is it dangerous for a child to bathe longer than 2 hours?

As moms, we all have large amounts of crazy-worry bubbling up inside, just waiting to explode all over our poor unsuspecting Pediatricians. Google, I’ve found, is a much safer place for me to unleash my inner mommy worrier.