Everything is a 10

There is no off button. No volume control, no mute. Everything is a 10. Every moment your toddler is awake they are experiencing emotions at a 10. The good news is this goes for frustration, but also excitement; anger but also joy. In case you are not yet living in this reality, or it feels like a distant memory, I will present some examples of a normal everyday scenario for a child and the scenario that would have to happen in order for an adult to emote an equivalent emotional response.

Excitement

Child: Anything that involves bubbles.

Adult: You found out you won an all-expense paid trip to Hawaii, and your parents offered to watch the kids.

Anger

Child: It’s time to get out of the bath.

Adult: You are standing in line at the DMV and your number is 102 and they just called 7.  

Anger

Child: It is time to leave the playground.

Adult: Your flight out of Alaska has been canceled and you are snowed in at the airport for two days.

Joy

Child: Anything that involves Elmo.

Adult: The moment you found out you were having a baby.

Anger

Child: They have run out of Puffs.

Adult: Your neighbors go out of town but leave their teenager home alone to throw an all-night rager, complete with house music and vomit on the sidewalk.

Frustration

Child: They have to share a toy with their sibling.

Adult: The cable guy strolls in during the last 2 minutes of his four hour window, on a Saturday.

The good news is every day for you with kids is also a 10.

The bad news is every day for you with kids is also a 10.

Reasons My Toddler Is Crying: The Sister Edition

There are a lot of emotions that come with having two very young children. It felt like we were just phasing out of the crying for no reason stage and then along came a baby and all kinds of new scenarios that will bring my toddler to (crocodile) tears. The majority of these involve the dreaded “s” word: sharing. I sense there will be a sequel "sister edition" in our future from Madeleine's perspective. 

1). She didn’t want her sister to sit in her high chair, but she didn’t want to sit in it either.

2). I wiped her sister’s nose and she sensed I was coming for her next. 

3). She couldn’t find her sister’s hand to hold it in the stroller.

4). I wouldn’t let her put stickers on her sister’s face.

5). I wouldn’t let her feed her sister by putting the spoon in her eye.

6). I brought her sister in her room to get her up after nap time.

7). I wouldn’t let her play peekaboo with her sister by smashing a teddy bear into her face.

8). I wouldn’t let her sit on her sister’s lap. 

9). She wanted to eat the pouch that her sister was eating, which was the same as the one in her hand.

10).  Her sister wanted to hold _________ (insert anything here).  

She didn't want her sister to smile for the picture.

It's a tough job being a big sister, but somebody has to cry about it.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

While driving home from Easter brunch my husband said, “Well that was fun.” Was it? Let’s go back.

It took me two kids to recognize this simple fact: your expectations of big events, on a scale of 1 to 10, should only be as high as your oldest child can count (currently Charlotte can get to two). The idea of fun and what we consider a good time completely shifts when you become a parent. If you are expecting Freshmen year in the dorms kind of fun, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble.  

Every year we celebrate Easter at the Sutter Club with our family and it is formal, delicious and wonderful. Two years ago we brought Charlotte when she was around two months as our first major outing and it took every ounce of energy we had to get her there. Now with two, we have it down to a finely tuned art form. But as with any big events it can really only go one of two ways especially when you throw in adorable yet uncomfortable clothes, during nap time with a person dressed up as a giant rabbit. All we can do is come prepared with a fully loaded diaper bag and be aware of all possible exits.

I came with zero expectations for how Charlotte would handle the Easter Bunny since Santa Clause was terrifying, but he was at least human. So in walks the Bunny and Charlotte treated him with the same healthy distrust that she gives the vacuum cleaner: she stoically wanted to stand close and watch his every move, but then cried and begged for more when he went away. Charlotte’s hysterically unpredictable reaction to the Easter Bunny was my favorite memory of the whole event and I will always remember that moment, which as a parent is the fun part. A week later she is still asking about the “Easa Bunny” but has accepted that “he is napping”, which is my gift to you as a go-to parenting trick that you can always keep in your back pocket. Now, as parents, you experience fun when you watch the way your kids take in the world and experience joy as it is seen through their eyes, even if their eyes are closed.