That’s so Davis

Recently my husband and I moved our family back to his hometown of Davis, California. For those of you unfamiliar with this gem of a city, we are famous for my alma mater, UC Davis, as well as building a "Toad Tunnel" when local animal lovers were worried that wildlife would be harmed crossing a freeway overpass.

We have only been here less than a month and already I have a protective, territorial love for this town, like I have for my own children. I love it for its snobbiness about recycling and its bicycle claim to fame. I’ve immersed myself fully and committed whole-heartedly to the Davis way of life.

There have been little things:

I BYOGB (Bring Your Own Grocery Bags) everywhere.

Both my husband and I, as well as my parents have taken the girls to the farmers market, where they have danced to local bands like the bare-footed hippie children they are (barefooted with me-- socks/shoes, hats, sunscreen and hand-sanitized with my mom and Step Dad).

I just filled out a survey the city released to concerned citizens regarding the use of pesticide sprays near the parks, schools, and greenbelts.

There have been big things:

I published an article through the local paper, the Davis Enterprise, on behalf of Fit4Mom Davis.

http://www.davisenterprise.com/local-news/celebratemom-mom-strong/

Then there are the “that’s so Davis” things:

My car battery died (yes, we still own a car- no it's not a Prius, yet) and so I loaded my kids into the stroller and ran the 2.2 miles to my daughter's parent co-op preschool. Along the way I had FIVE people stop me to say "good morning" and tell me how beautiful my children were.

I mean, they are beautiful! (The girls enjoying the park and greenbelt behind our new house)

I am a part of an online group for Davis locals where people will “gift” items, their trade, or their time—it ranges from furniture, baby items, to helping someone reorganize their garage for two hours. Its mission is to encourage being “neighborly” by promoting gratitude and by expecting nothing in return. This is so Davis.

They say when in Rome, do as the Romans do. Don't mind if I do.

The Slow Clap, Eye Roll

We have all been standing in line at the grocery store next to that one mom that likes to overshare her gluten free non-dairy vegan household success stories and your internal self can’t help but give a long slow clap eye roll when she says, “My son Amadeus isn’t allowed to watch TV, probably because we don’t even own one!” I’m happy for all your non-bribery related parenting wins, but I gotta do what I gotta do as a Mom to survive until bedtime each day.

Here is the short list that warrant the internal eye roll:

My kids don’t/will never/have never...

1.      Eat sugar, gluten, formula or fast food

2.      Watch TV

3.      Play on my phone or any other "electronic device"

4.     Use bottles or pacifiers

The worst offenders are the "when I have kids they will never" and here is the look I would give trying to suppress a laugh (only it's much cuter and more polite when I show my daughter doing it).

Every mom everywhere at one time or another is guilty of being a sugar dispensing, yelling, bribing, spoiling, enabler all while using TV or tablets as pacifiers or babysitters and to those that say they aren't, well all I have to say is...

The Parenthood Percentage

If you are like me the math portion of your brain got derailed by Shakespeare and so you married an engineer ensuring your children would obtain equal parts English major, equal parts mathematical genius which is destined to produce some well-rounded offspring. I have come up with a formula that I will coin the Parenthood Percentage. As you will quickly notice these numbers do not add up to 100%, which means my formula is flawed, just like my parenting. Those of you looking forward to becoming parents or are living to tell the tale can refer to these like you do your vitamin label, but substitute 100% vitamin C for 100% love and chaos.

20% stepping on toys with your bare feet and trying not to curse.

67% opening your mouth and hearing your parent’s words come out.

92% repeating these phrases: please stop, because I said so, I love you.

30% hearing them play happily and waiting for the inevitable scream.

36% worrying about the next strain of bird or goat flu.

44% using words like “blessed” and “grateful” that in your former life would make you gag and roll your eyes.

71% enduring other people’s “words of wisdom” that you don’t remember asking for.

1% sleeping, but 99% complaining about not sleeping.

82% looking for shoes, 18% putting them on.

27% finding the karmic hilarity in all your quirks and stubbornness reflected so perfectly in your tiny human clones.

100% grateful that this is now your life.