Fall and the Beginning of Quarantine

Toddlers are basically one adorable cuddly germ just waiting to open mouth kiss you while sneezing. If we had to wait until both of my children’s noses were clear to leave the house, we would basically just call ourselves a family of bears and emerge in April. As sure as your kids will look epically precious in their Halloween costumes, when the first leaves begin to fall, every family we know will be in a constant state of quarantine. Pick your poison: the stomach flu, the lingering cough, or the boring old common cold. As a parent you learn about new diseases which sound incredibly alarming like roseola and hand-foot-and-mouth, but are incredibly common and yet not sexy enough for someone somewhere to create a vaccine. It becomes mission impossible to keep their tiny fingers away from their mouths and even when you do they will find a way to spread the "joy". Like last week when Madeleine licked the fish tank at the doctor’s office, which I swear they just put there to drum up more business for themselves (I’m inclined to blame Obamacare).

With one child I lived in a constant state of germaphobia. Along with a helmet, I was seconds away from having our family wear those masks you only see on that one person you will definitely not be sitting next to at the airport. Cut to real life with two kids and we are constantly in a cycle of “getting over” something involving an excess of fluids. Only one kid catching a cold is physically impossible, because if they aren't actually licking each other's eyeballs they are trading sippy cups and kisses. 

I can hear my pre-kids self naively saying, "Well, we will just stock up on hand sanitizer and never spend time with any kids that are coughing or parents that like to travel to Africa". But just like when you are hiding in your closet for one moment's peace and your kids come barreling in with an entire unrolled roll of toilet paper and what you can only assume is deodorant on their forehead, the germs will find you.  

Your Bragging Squad

Let’s face it, if you aren’t complaining about your kids, you are bragging about them. It is important to locate your best audience when your child does something monumental like uses the potty for the first time. Friends without kids won’t necessarily understand the need for the choreographed celebratory dance you and your husband have worked out and your friends with kids might have a son who just keeps missing the mark, literally. But have no fear, here are some never-fail allies that when your child jumps they will ask how high.

Their pediatrician

I’m never shy about sharing mini and major developmental milestones during our visits and always ask if I too can get a gold star when they are handing out stickers after shots.

Any and all members of your family

Grandparents, aunts, second cousins twice removed are your target audience to start a triumphant impromptu flash mob when your child has finally given up on a 6 day vegetable hunger strike.

Their sibling

I have found that my children’s biggest fans are each other. On more than one occasion I have caught Charlotte patting her sister on the back while saying, “Good job, Sissie.” Now if that’s not the greatest argument for a second child, I’m not sure how to convince you.

They say in life it is important to surround yourself with cheerleaders; people that build you and your family up. While your bragging squad may not always match your mommy-level of excitement over the first poop after four days of baby constipation, they will always nod along accordingly whenever you mention just how gifted your special children are.  

Travels with Children

Hats off to all you parents out there that travel often with your children. I applaud your ability to ignore the fact that you will spend more time packing, unpacking, and doing laundry than you will actually enjoying your “vacation”. These kids of mine operate best on schedules and routines, just like their Mama, and it is hard to venture outside of our baby-gated bubble. Last weekend we braved the unknown and went out of town for a family reunion.

When you travel, the bar for what constitutes “fun” and a success should be set no higher than your tallest child. (This logic will help you greatly on deciding when is the right time to take your kids to Disneyland.) What would have ruined our trip as a family of three was just par for the course as a family of four. Things like not being able to find our Air B and B house; driving deep into the woods for an hour in the wrong direction, when the breadcrumbs known as our GPS signal had been lost and the kids were long overdue for a nap; evident by the octave of their screaming. Or keeping two toddlers alive in a backyard with two Koi ponds, a pool, a 3 foot deck, and a fire pit. And lastly, waking up to our 1 year old projectile puking like the exorcist in our bed at 1 in the morning.

Somehow through a sleep-deprived stupor and the lingering smell of vomit, I was able to recognize the importance of letting the powerful moments in parenting speak louder than the challenging ones. Like having your kids participate in a Halloween costume “parade” you remember doing yourself 25 years ago, which looked more like what would happen if you tried to put socks on a pack of Chihuahuas. 

Or watching your children, the fourth generation, feed the very same Koi with their grandpa, that you fed with your grandpa. 

Lastly, having your baby snuggle up to her pregnant aunt, your sister, sharing a look that says "my heart knows you"-- as if that image weren’t darling enough, she also happened to be dressed as a strawberry.

I have found that the more you are able to let go of parenting expectations, the more you are able to focus on what truly matters. Sometimes, in order to get there though, you have to travel outside of your comfort zone.