Why it Sucks to be Second

I’m pushing my two kids in the supermarket, mentally patting myself on the back for successfully making it to the produce section without any tears. My first born is correctly identifying items as we pass them and my second is sleeping peacefully. I step away to pick out some organic tomatoes and return to my oldest poking the youngest in the eye, while correctly identifying "eye". Madeleine is now awake and happily goes along with the "game". This embodies the essence of being the second born: No matter how much we mind our own business, we will always, somehow, both physically and metaphorically get poked in the eye (and then kindly offer the other eye!) 

Milestones. Oh wow, Madeleine is smiling! When did Charlotte start smiling? Well I can tell you down to the minute because not only do I have it recorded on my phone, but I also wrote it in her baby journal. Did you document Madeleine’s? Yes, it happened on whatever day we put out the recycling.   

That’s rough. Remember how you felt nervous about having your 19 year old cousin hold your newborn? Now, I stage pictures of my 22 month old snuggling her 2 month old sister alone on the couch, because how cute is that? Don’t forget to support her neck!

Sharing is caring! I remember sheltering Charlotte from sickness by using my body has a human shield from any coughing or snotty rugrats on the playground. Yesterday, Charlotte literally sneezed in Madeleine’s face and then for good measure wiped it on her tiny baby foot.

Hand-me-downs. Please ignore the poop stains on this onesie that we took a hundred pictures of your sister wearing, but won’t get any of you because I need both hands free at all times and because eww poop stains.

I am the second born and it wasn’t until I had my second that I realized just how much we get short changed. Of course the love is completely the same but I've made it my life's mission to attempt a fair and equal world for my girls, because as even the name suggests, being number 2 is total crap. 

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1). One was beginning to feel like only a moderate challenge and you fancy yourself an over-achiever.

2). You created some sort of genetic marvel on your first and you wanted to see if lightening really can strike twice.

3). Your toddler started carrying around food simply so the dogs will “play with her”.

4). Sleep is for suckers and you feel comfortable pushing the boundaries of the caffeine content in your breast milk.

5). “Mommies of Two” felt like a much cooler cult than “Mommies of One” and you desperately wanted to learn the secret handshake.

6). You missed your snuggle partner and your toddler will now only hug you when she wants something.

On most days it looks like this

On most days it looks like this

7). You figured your social life was already down the toilet since you now have to beg the checkout clerk for adult conversation.

8). You already purchased what you call the “mini-SUV” because a “Soccer Mom Van” is out of the question.

9). Any family pack of ticket always come with 4 and it’s just wasteful to throw out an “extra ticket”. 

10). MTV was offering a reality show for moms with a newborn and a toddler, but that idea got canceled when they realized nobody would watch that.

Sometimes it looks like this

Sometimes it looks like this

In all seriousness, there is no one right reason to expand your family (but there are unlimited wrong ones) and if you are anything like our family we thank our lucky stars every day that we did. 

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