The Plight of the Pacifier

One of the soothing staples in our household is the pacifier. My children know it as a “bee-bo” and it was a magical device up until my husband and I would regularly have conversations that sounded like:

“I couldn’t find the bee-bo with the rocket on it and that’s the only one that Charlotte says is “the good one” so she cried until we found the Mickey one which apparently is also acceptable.” I highly suggest sprinkling this sentences into your wedding vows, because I guarantee in your wedded bliss no one anticipates spousal arguments at midnight over whose turn it is to locate the good binky.


Feel free to substitute pacifier for anything to make our struggle relatable: bottles, blankets, boobies. We hold on tight to anything that makes our jobs as parents a little easier. Until it makes everything harder and that is where we landed. There are over 137 different ways to quit this habit but rather than fairies or fancy tricks we went cold turkey. As a rebuttal for going cold turkey—I had my 2-year-old boycott naps all together for 5 days and my 4-year-old waking up every hour in a sleepy haze, crying for her bee-bo like a nicotine junkie jonesing for a cigarette or the patch. Only there is no patch for this and I know a little something about addiction and half measures avail us nothing. Thankfully, in the most dramatic of fashions, I threw all 23 pacifiers in a garbage can in a parking structure in Sacramento, because I knew at 3 in the morning I would go dig them out of our own trash and be so tempted to cave to ease their “suffering”.

Knowing what I do now, would I go back in time and not put that tiny piece of plastic in my baby’s mouth to avoid the last week of hell? Nah, it has allowed me: many peaceful car rides, the precious few extra minutes of sleep and so many Stroller Strides workouts I couldn’t possibly count. The bee-bos have served their purpose and are gone for good, but I do promise to stand by you, children of mine, until you have learned to self-sooth in sickness and in health and in our new life together without pacifiers.


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