The DMV & Extreme Parenting

My two year old loves to play pretend with my wallet and so naturally of all the cards she could lose my driver’s license was the one to go missing. Bring on preschool, puberty and Prom, we all made it through a trip to the DMV. Everyone got dressed up because I am a firm believer in putting your best face forward in the face of extreme parenting. If I’m going to have people pitying me because my toddler is licking the line dividers, we better at least look good.

When we walked in with Charlotte refusing to hold my hand and Madeleine awkwardly dangling from the front pack, I could spot all the other mothers immediately because they were the only ones with sympathy in their eyes, while everyone else was calculating how much longer we just added to their wait time. It’s hard enough to fill out forms with your two year old eating snacks on the ground, while simultaneously googling “what diseases can children get from eating food off of a public floor”, but it is nearly impossible with tiny t-Rex arms hanging from your body. The *cough cough* friendly woman at the first window had explained that if I made a mistake we’d have to come back up and practice our standing in line skills again, but no pressure. Luckily I had made an appointment and so we moved to the elite, well-prepared group that I would pick for my team if we all suddenly erupted into a game of DMV dodgeball. This was the moment Madeleine and Charlotte decided to do an enchanting rendition of their back and forth screaming love song, which sadly sealed our fate as last pick. 

Just when my children and I had reached our emotional limit we were shuffled towards a kiosk so I could register to vote. Charlotte helped me push the buttons, but when she almost registered me as a “Republican”, I scolded her louder than when she tried to color her tongue with the DMV community pen and she knew Mommy meant business (sorry Allie!). Finally we exited out to where a mom and her 16 year old daughter were waiting for her to take her driving test with the instructor. I kissed both of my girls, giving time permission to slow down and left just then realizing that this would be our least eventful trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles. 

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