Here are some things I said I would never do as a mom. Save yourself some apologizes and never say never, my friend. I’ve even blogged about these very things. But I’m only human and I’ve learned that moms are allowed to be fallible since every day is a trial by fire.
1). JUDGE OTHER MOMS
I am guilty of this from just this morning! I was jogging with Charlotte and a mom in a minivan (speaking of judgment) pulled up to her house with two child’s cups and a happy meal bag from McDonald’s at 8:00am. I tripped and caught myself; Mommy Karma can be a real b.
2). USE MY JOGGING STROLLER FOR JOGGING
I said that running was my “me time” and the stroller should be used for walks only. Enter 2015 and it turns out the only thing more Zen than running without my baby is feeling like super mom while running with her.
3). TELL MY BIRTH STORY TO PREGNANT MOMS
I can’t even remember if they asked to hear it. I think it is the most beautiful story in the world because it is how Charlotte came to be. But when I joke about the excessive nudity and the number of strangers checking out your lady parts, oddly enough, they find it more terrifying than funny.
4). BE BORED AT OTHER WOMEN’S BABY SHOWERS
I refuse to wear hats or ohh and ahhh in an octave meant for dog discipline, but I will eat cake. It is simply impossible for me not to have a running dialogue in my head that checks off all the presents which are completely impractical for newborns. My favorite is when they are purchased off their registry. That segue ways nicely into #5.
5). DO THE CONDESCENDING SMUG-MOM LOOK
While, “Just you wait and see” is not my new catch phrase, it is quickly becoming a part of my vocabulary. When a pregnant mom says to me, “Why do you need so much stuff?” it just comes flying out of my mouth like verbal diarrhea. I don’t want to say I told you so in 2 months, but a dark part of me really does.
I no longer have any room in my life to say never. Parenting is a moving target. If you are lucky, one day you catch up, only to realize the target walks, talks and now wants to chase you.